Expiring Spirits
by dream-whizper
Summary: Ray is a doctor at a hospital in New York. One day, a man who has tried to commit suicide is brought in. Ray's own painful memories awakens and the situation doesn't get any better when he finds himself slowly getting involved into the teen's life. RaKa
1. chapter 1

Warnings: Contains yaoi, rape and abuse. Yaoi means that two guys are in love. If this offends you in any way, don't continue to read this story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade in any way or form. All the characters are borrowed from the anime, and those who isn't, I do own. This story may not be copied or published in some other way without my permission. I do not make any money from writing this and my interest is to entertain only.

Further: I thank two of my friends who helps me with this. Thank you, without your help, nothing would be the same, and you actually made the story much better:

**Endoh Chiaki  
Ladya C. Maxine**

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Expiring spirits

_:by dream-whizper:_

Sometimes, things don't really go according to plan. I should know this, what with the job I have. I know I should have tried harder, but then again I suppose it all depends on one's point of view. The problem isn't with me, although I often make it sound like it, but I have finally realized that what happened to me wasn't my fault, not at all.

Gods, how blind I was up until then. I was willing to let my time run out without any hesitation or regret. I just wanted it to end, this pathetic excuse of a life, monotonous and unrewarding, even on my best days, professional of personal.

But then…I met him. From the first time I saw him, I knew that things would never be the same again.

Chapter one

"Doctor, you're requested in the theatre."

"Okay, thanks."

Yeah, I'm a doctor. The name's Ray Kon, a 24 years old who has been working in this hospital located in the centre of New York for almost three years now. I know what you're thinking; that I'm way too young to be a doctor, and I guess you're right. But it's true. I graduated when I was 20, which is quite extraordinary. I never even considered becoming a doctor, but, as it turned out, destiny had other plans.

It's ironic, if I may say so, in so many ways. I love being a doctor, I hate hospitals. They are crowded and smelly. Yeah, having this characteristically smell around you for almost every day of the year isn't very pleasant. I can't get used to it either, unless my nose was to fall off. But that's beside the point.

I usually work during the day, but on this particular occasion I was pulling a night shift. I still remember everything about that night, which people I treated, which nurses were working, who had died, who had been well enough to go home…I even remember the specific hour it all begun.

I had left the operation theatre about ten minutes earlier. Fortunately, we had been able to save her, a young girl named Mariah who had been struck by a car about an hour ago by a drunk driver. The intoxicated man had fallen into a drunken sleep before the police arrived but the girl was rushed immediately to the hospital, suffering bruises, broken bones and a concussion. By the time I got to the O.R. she had been reasonably stabilized but it still took us much effort before she was out of the critical condition.

The patient saved, for now, and my earned break the only real comfort to me, I walked down the blue corridor of level two, my once pristine white coat stained by the dried blood of the girl. I sighed, rubbing my temples. Although I'm not someone who needs much sleep, working for twelve hours straight would make anyone tired.

My office was lying dark in the building, and I didn't bother to switch the light on. After all, I was only going to change into a clean coat. It was silent. Not that I minded or anything. Still, I'm used to noise, either coming from the city or my fellow colleagues.

I didn't grow up in the city, I come from a small village in China, but I'm still used to sounds. This is basically because I'm a neko-jin, that's a person who is part feline, meaning that my senses are higher than a normal human being. What may be a quiet office floor to others can be downright loud for me. It took me years to get used to the racket that is a large city like New York.

I pulled off my coat and was hanging it over one of the two antique walnut chairs when my beeper suddenly went off, abruptly reminding me of the work I was so desperately trying to forget, if even for five minutes. Cursing in my native language, I removed the beeping device from my pocket.

Emergency call.

Despite my wearied annoyance, I dropped the beeper into the pocket of a new coat that I snatched as I ran out, leaving the silence and peace behind.

I could clearly hear the chaos the moment I stepped out of the elevator and was able to pinpoint it to the emergency room just down the hall. It really wasn't that hard, since stressed voices echoed around the mint-coloured walls. At this hour, there weren't many people around, so getting to the room was easy.

It was what came after that caused trouble.

Never had something like this happened to me, ever. Normally, nothing would make me hesitate in doing my job. However, I can't explain the feeling. It was like walking onto thin ice only to hear it slowly start to crack: a warning. I didn't know what was happening but standing in the doorway, watching the scene unfold before me, I knew that something was, maybe not wrong, but out of the ordinary.

"Doctor?"

Tala's voice reached to me and I was finally able to snap out of the strange trance I'd been in and walked to where the patient lay motionlessly on the sheet covered operating table.

The patient was a man, 20-21 if I had to guess. Although it's not easy to tell when someone is lying down, he could have been as tall as me. His skin was pale, too pale to be considered normal and his lips were tinged blue. His thick slate and navy blue hair was a complete mess.

"What happened to him?" My voice was steadier than I felt, for which I was thankful.

"Suicide attempt."

I sighed at Tala's answer.

We hadn't had that many suicide cases lately and I personally had never treated one but I knew a few whose thoughts had strayed along that line…including me. It was my one true fear.

"Pills?" I asked my redhead colleague who was slipping an oxygen mask over the unresisting man's mouth and nose.

"And slashed wrists."

Both? I'd never heard of a patient who had done both before. It seemed like he'd gone to hell of a trouble to make certain he did it right. Peculiar since suicide was something that was not usually fully thought out. A suicide was more often than not an impulsive action based on long suffering and a breaking point. There had to be more to this.

I didn't have the time to think any further of it though, because at that very moment, his heart rate went blank.

"Shit," I hissed, my own heart skipping several beats.

But as quickly as he had left, he came back. Shaking from the adrenaline rush, I released the breath I didn't know I had been holding and shook my head.

"Get me some intravenous," I ordered one of the nurses. Emily, I think that is her name, nodded and took off. "Tala, he has lost too much blood."

"I'm on it." And he too was gone.

Having nothing to do except wait, keep him alive, I turned my attention to the wounds on his wrists. Frowning, I eyed the deep gashes located across the scars of older ones. They were no longer bleeding but were deep though, and wide. These, he couldn't have done using a razor blade. Something else, like a piece of glass, mirror or even a knife must have been the cause.

'Actually, the best thing to use is some sort of glass, simply because they're so sharp…'

I shook my head at that train of thought.

Nonetheless, something made me realize this wasn't a simple case of giving in to life's pressure. No. This was caused by true despair.

I looked at his face. He was beautiful, if that's the proper way to describe a guy. Though his skin was pale and cold, it still was smooth, and his hair was the most interesting colours I'd ever seen. He looked just like he was sleeping. I turned my attention back to his arms and followed an old scar with my finger.

"Man, what have you done to your self?" I murmured as both my nurses returned with the required items.

Time to put my degree to the test.

Walking down the same navy blue corridor as earlier and sleepily dragged myself into my office, my eyelids felt heavy and my head was pounding with each heartbeat. I really needed my beauty sleep!

It had been three hours and fifteen minutes since he first arrived, the handsome stranger with slit wrists. It had taken all that time to somewhat stabilizing his health. We had nearly lost him seven times. He wasn't out of danger just yet, but enough for me to try and get some damn rest.

I was totally exhausted and without any further hesitation, I collapsed on the black leather couch in the corner of my office. My office is as any other, rectangular with a heavy oak desk, occupied with piles of paper and a flat-screened computer. In front of the desk, were two chairs, one now covered with my dirty coat. At the opposite wall from where I lay was a white door that led to a small washroom. A painting of a waterfall landscape hung to its left and a bookshelf filled with newspapers and books to the right. On the left side of the couch was a bonsai-tree I got from my friend back in China and to the right was a small table with a green lamp and an alarm clock. On the wall above the couch was a picture of a white Siberian tiger.

I laid there for about ten minutes and so, constantly shifting position before I realized I couldn't find the peace my sleep required. I growled angrily and sat up, running my hand down my face. Although reluctant to, I pushed myself up on my feet and went into my little private washroom. I turned on the water in the sink and filled my hands, then splashed it in my face. I shivered; hadn't realized it was going to be that cold. At the reflection of myself in the eye-level placed mirror, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

My normally shining golden eyes were dull, my ebony black hair was tangled and messy and the shadows under my eyes were dark. In other words, I looked like shit. Even worse than HE did. My traditional Chinese braid was in process of unravelling, allowing strands of my ankle long hair to fall out, and the bangs were handing before my face. Just like HIS.

This time, I stopped in my thoughts. It was the second time in five seconds that I had compared my appearance with his. The two shade haired guy. Why did I think about him? Was I concerned? Yeah, I was. Not because I was scared at the sight of the pale skin, blue lips, slashed wrist or the sight of blood, all that I was used to.

It was…that he had looked so peaceful, like he finally found happiness. And I had taken it away from him. The only logical explanation was that…I felt guilty.

I jumped at the knocking on the door, pupils turning into slits and my fangs showing. Since the person outside opened it without waiting for permission, it had to be Tala.

"Ray?"

I was right. Of course it was Tala.

"Yeah?" I murmured, coming back to my senses. I really didn't want to talk right now.

"You okay?"

I turned to face him as he came into the washroom. He didn't look much better than I. His cherry read hair was pointing in every direction and his glacier blue eyes were as dull as mine.

"Sure, why wouldn't I?"

Being around three inches shorter than he, I looked up at him.

Tala Ivanov, 30 years old and a terrific male nurse, was my best friend, though it bugs me that he always treats me like a little kid. He's helped me through a lot, even saved my life…more than once, but I could do without his mothering.

Tala crossed his arms with a stubborn look on his face.

"What was that?"

I quirked an eyebrow at this question.

"What was what?"

"I've never seen you freeze like that before. Not since you were a rookie. What's wrong?"

I didn't answer him since I honestly couldn't. I didn't understand it myself.

"Well?"

"I don't know," I snapped and pushed pass him.

"Oh, you don't?"

I turned and glared at him. Rude and pushy were his strong points, to say the least.

"Was it that you realized that a few years ago, that could have been you?"

I coughed, taken aback.

"I don't know what it was. I-It was like something wanted to stop me from saving him."

Tala smirked triumphantly and I so much wanted to wipe that look of his otherwise angelic face.

"I knew it had something to do with yourself!"

I blushed, rather irritated though he continued anyway.

"You compared yourself with him, didn't you? You thought that if you were in his place, you wouldn't want any help, had it been four years ago, didn't you?"

I didn't answer. Instead, I walked over to the window and looked down at the sleeping city. I frowned and put my hand against the cold glass.

"How is he?" I sounded more careless than I intended to and mentally slapped my forehead.

"He'll live. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about him. I've got something for you."

I turned around.

"What?" I asked, glad that the talk about me had ended.

"Well, it's commonly known as 'nada'."

Once again, I found myself glaring at him. He was a real pain in the ass! Yeah, that would be the best way of describing him.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that I couldn't find anything on him whatsoever. He's never been in this hospital, or any in the area before."

"Who asked you to search in the first place? And how the hell could you even try when you don't even know his name?"

He smirked at me and walked over to take my hand. His skin tone was much lighter than mine though his hand was a bit bigger. My eyes widened at the touch but when he placed a plastic card in my hand, I relaxed again, feeling somewhat like a moron. I looked at the given item. It was an ID card.

"Kai Hiwatari," I mumbled, going over the man's facts. Then, it felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. "Are you sure this is correct?" I asked as I read it again.

Tala nodded.

"…But…according to this…he's only eighteen…"

"Yup."

"I thought he was around twenty-one…"

"Yeah, so did I."

I looked at the card again before handing it back to the other man and walked pass him.

"Where are you going?" he asked me, as if he expected something or me to go home.

"Downstairs, my break is over," I replied monotonously.

"Doctor, we need your help over here!"

"Doctor, you're required in room 74!"

"Doctor Kon?"

This was just my luck, break was over and suddenly everything started happening at once. Car accidents, gang fights, heart attacks, you name it! Still, _No sleep, no rest, and always do better than your best; _that's been my motto for the past two years.

So, high on cheep coffee and chocolate from the small cafeteria on level three, I ran around the building, helping the ones that needed it.

As I rounded a corner I took a sip from the coffee I carried with me, not really looking where I was going. Of course, I managed to bump straight into someone, spilling my coffee and dropping a few papers at the same time.

"Sorry!" I said, unaware of the fact that I was going to regret it.

"Damn it, Kon! Look at my coat!"

'Oh, fuck!' basically summed up my thoughts at that moment.

It was Michael Sheldon, a fellow doctor a few years my senior who disliked my guts. Can't say I think any better of him, though.

"Sorry Dr. Sheldon," I muttered through clenched teeth. This conversation made me sound like a student apologizing to the principal.

"Clean that up and for god's sake do your job!"

With that said, he left.

"…Asshole!"

Yeah, I know. I'm so good at expressing my feelings trough words…not! I desperately tried to shake the brown liquid off the papers, with little…Okay, no success. Finally, I gave up and grabbed them as they were. I was about to take off…when I crashed into someone…again.

The papers flew around us as we both fell to the floor. Can this stuff really happen! Guess so!

"This is not my night!" I hissed as I sat myself up and looked at the other person, expecting to see another idiot.

The 'idiot' before me had messy slate and black hair and his skin was as pale as ivory. From his sitting position, he seemed to be almost the same height…as…me. My eyes dilated, warmth seemingly stolen from my body.

In front of me sat…Kai! What? How? When? I mean, what was he doing out of bed?

"Hey!"

I stretched out my hand and touched his shoulder. Kai looked up and locked his eyes with mine, causing a cold chill to travel down my spine. His eyes were as red as the blood the nurses had spent over an hour cleaning from his wounds, and they held a deadly intense fire in them.

I took a deep breath.

"What are you doing?"

He didn't say anything and I couldn't judge his feelings. His eyes didn't reflect them. Although I could somewhat see a tinge of fear, very well hidden. He had pulled out the needles we'd attached him too.

I quickly got to me feet.

"You have to rest. Come, I'll take you back" I once again held out my hand, this time for him to take it. But he didn't move at all. "Please?"

Slowly, almost unwillingly, he took it and I was able to carefully help him to standing position. He was indeed almost as tall as me, only about half an inch shorter and extremely light. He was a bit skinny, but still had fine ripped muscles and fine features. He followed me very closely as we walked and I eyed him curiously. He looked uncertain and extremely wary, eyes flickering around the corridor.

"What's your name?" I asked in an attempt to make him feel comfortable, but I didn't receive any answer.

The staff looked puzzled as we passed them, especially those that had seen him before. I gave Tala a nod as we passed him in the hall that said that everything was under control. As always, he returned the nod and kept on walking.

"So, here we are" I announced as we reached room number 145.

Still not talking, he gazed around the room. It almost looked like he was searching for something. After a while he staggered over to the bed and crawled into it. I followed him and pushed the little red button on the bed frame.

"How old are you?" I didn't really expect a reply, but to my great surprise, he spoke out.

"It was you, right?" his voice wasn't deep but mature, calm and steady and he had a strange accent.

"What?"

"It was you who…saved me, right…Dr. Kon?" he elaborated after taking a look at my nametag.

How did he know? He had been unconscious all the time, not opening his eyes once.

"Uh…yeah, it was. I'm a doctor at this hospital."

He chuckled calmly at me.

"Yeah, I've noticed."

"Do you know why you're here?"

This time, he gave me the worst death glare I've ever experienced in my life, once again sending a cold shiver down my spine. Those eyes of his…they were really creepy. He must have figured out what I was thinking, because he chuckled dryly and leaned backwards against the pillows.

I looked at him once again and was just about to say something I can't remember when Emily came into the room, her sudden appearance startling Kai. He once again got a haunted expression.

"You called" she smiled at me.

Those little red buttons were useful, weren't they?

"Mrs. Ford, could you get me some new IV, please?"

She shot Kai a perturbed stare, then gave me a strange look but went to get the required liquid. I turned back to Kai.

"So, what were you doing?"

How stupid can one get? I mean, I knew there wouldn't be any respond. He didn't seem to answer questions at all, starting to annoy me a bit. Instead of an answer, he gave me a smirk. I swear he was annoying me, on purpose!

Emily returned. This time, he only jerked. We attached the IV to his right arm, and he didn't do anything to stop us. Although, when Emily stuck the metal needle through his skin, he looked wary once again. But he soon sighed and relaxed.

"Now stay in bed, I'll come check on you tomorrow." That wasn't a request but order. As I turned to leave he called out to me in a low voice.

"Dr. Kon?"

I stopped at the weak voice and turned back to face him. He had me locked in his glare again.

"I'm not gonna thank you" he tried to smirk, suddenly looking very miserable before looking away.

I gave him a weak smile before stepping outside. As I closed the white door, I sighed heavily. My hands were shaking, but I didn't know why. Maybe because I was tired? Because I was hungry or because of his words? I didn't know.

I slowly walked pass the rooms, my pounding headache getting worse with each step I took.

"Ray, are you alright?"

Just great! The one person I didn't felt like talking to at that moment. Still I stopped. I knew he could easily see when something was wrong with me. It was a gift, as he'd put it. To me it was a curse.

"Absolutely fantastic," I deadpanned.

Tala laughed at me, and gently wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"What's wrong with my little friend?" his question annoyed me quite a bit. What? He had been here the whole night too, hadn't he?

"I need an aspirin."

"Right, and some sleep! You know, we are allowed to take off in a few minutes. Want me to drive you home?"

I'd totally forgotten the fact that the shift was over, and I felt a great relief when Tala reminded me…still…

"No thanks. I'll sleep here"

"Again? Why?"

I've slept in my office a few times…so what? It wasn't like there was anyone expecting me to come home anyway, so it really didn't matter.

"Too tired to go anywhere," I said. But he knew as well as I that wasn't the real reason.

"'Kay, suit yourself. See ya around then, I guess."

Yeah, a bit too soon for my taste. I would only have seven hours before I had to start working again, so I figured I'd better try and get that rest. That Tala accepted my explanation made me feel calmer. He knew when he wouldn't get a decent answer anyway, so this he just backed off.

I raised my hand and gave the man a small wave before continuing my walk towards my office for the third time that night.

Tbc


	2. chapter 2

Warnings: Contains yaoi, rape and abuse. Yaoi means that two guys are in love. If this offends you in any way, don't continue to read this story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade in any way or form. All the characters are borrowed from the anime, and those who isn't, I do own. This story may not be copied or published in some other way without my permission. I do not make any money from writing this and my interest is to entertain only.

Further: Waaah, thank you so much! You really outdid me, Ladya-sama!

**Ladya C. Maxine**

and I'm not gonna write answers to the reviews in this story. I really don't have the time...sorry!

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Chapter 2 

I woke up the moment I hit the green-carpeted floor. I was breathing heavily, and my skin was cold and sweaty. I had no idea what the reason behind my abrupt wakening was, only a faint memory of a nightmare. My whole body was shaking uncontrollably and I pulled my knees to my chest as I leaned against the soft couch. A deep sigh escaped me and I cursed my life, like so many times before. Why was this happening to me? I had tried so hard to push the memories away, but they always came back to haunt my very soul.

My gaze fell upon the alarm clock, making me release a small groan. It was a quarter past seven, meaning I only slept for one and a half hour. But knowing I would not, under any circumstances, be able to go back to sleep, I stood up and stretched my arms above my head.

My stomach growled loudly, making me realise I hadn't eaten for about 20 hours or so. The fact that I felt hungry calmed me somewhat, considering that I had the bad habit of not eating for a couple of days when my schedule was hectic enough. I yawned and slowly pulled out my bag from underneath the couch. I always kept the blue-white bag at the office, filled with the things I needed for a sleep over.

I grabbed my toothbrush and went into the washroom. My hair had come undone during my short rest and hung in a wild mess behind me. I sighed, rather annoyed, which was understandable. It would take forever to comb it all out. I took one final look in the mirror to glare at myself before turning on the tap.

……

I slowly walked down the corridor. My hunger had gotten to me and since there might be something to munch on in the cafeteria, I'd finally dragged myself outside. I had yet another five hours of free time, but I didn't care much if I just down right skipped those.

The cafeteria was filled with people and I immediately regretted coming down. I wasn't on a great term with anyone there, except for Emily who I knew just a bit. She was the only one there who treated me like…well, human.

Luckily, she spotted me in the doorframe.

"Ray!" she smiled, turning a few curious eyes in my direction.

I returned the smile and walked over to where she sat typing on her laptop. I felt the always judging gazes on me. No one really trusted me, knowing about how I first came there. None of them had ever expected, given the not-so-dignifying first impression I must have made, that I would become a colleague. First impressions are important, but I was proving myself as a doctor and had thought that they would see that. Apparently not.

"Hey Emily," I greeted as I sat down opposite her.

"Aren't you off duty?" she asked, giving me/my appearance a puzzled look.

I was wearing black Chinese shoes, a deep purple T-shirt under the white unbuttoned coat and dark grey baggy-pants, kept in place by a red belt. This was one of the two sets of clothes I kept at the office.

I rested my chin in my hand and yawned.

"I am," I answered.

"Well, aren't we quite a workaholic?" she smirked teasingly at me.

"Aren't we both?" I replied, smiling toothily. "What are you doing?"

"I'm collecting all my information about Cancer into the laptop, then I will send it to the lab in Washington where they are trying to find a cure," she said simply.

I moved to sit beside her so that I could have a look at the screen. Frowning I turned to her.

"It's just a bunch of numbers"

She smiled at my conclusion, amused by my keen observation.

"Yeah. I'm researching and calculating the structure of cancer cell. Every number stands for a certain molecule, so that we can measure its growth."

I shook my head.

"And you're a nurse. Is this what you call spare time?"

"Actually, I'm a volunteer nurse. I don't have to work, since I get money anyway. What I really want to do is help people. So I'm a scientist who, until I can help by finding a cure for cancer, am doing what I can." She turned back to the screen and I couldn't help but smile.

Some people had such pure intentions in life. They dedicated their whole life to do good. Rarely did I encounter such selflessness, but every time I did, I was reminded of what life could be like. Tala was like that too. Yeah, he comes off as slightly selfish and harsh but he really didn't care much about himself and, in his unique way, offered his help to others. Whether they ask for it or not.

Most people in my life were the opposite, and they always had been, especially my family. But I wouldn't allow myself to be pitied. After all, There were a million people who had it worse than I did. In other words, I had no right to be whining.

A sharp prickling made the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. Looking up, I found, much to me dismay, Michael. He was standing a few feet from our table, glaring daggers at me. I then understood he had said something to me.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention." I plastered a fake smile on my face.

"I said that this isn't a god damn motel, Kon." His Mediterranean orbs met my amber ones, and I couldn't help but look away and that showed that I acknowledged his superior, albeit unintentionally. I don't like him, to say the least.

But his gaze was, although a different colour, so similar to someone else I knew. I couldn't bear to meet them. It was something I had learned not to a long time ago. They showed hatred, domination and confident. Exactly like the one's who constantly came back in my memory and to tell the truth, I felt extremely weak and helpless.

"It won't happen again, Mr. Sheldon," I apologised when all my thoughts were collected again.

He smirked with satisfaction, making me feel even more useless.

"Well, since you're here anyway, you can try and shove some food or water into the patient in room number 145."

I stiffened. I knew that number.

'Kai…'

"How come?" I asked when he turned to leave.

"One, because I said so. And two, because he needs nutrition. Ever heard of that? The IV helps, but people need to eat too, Doctor Kon," he scowled, laying it thick on the title.

With that said, he left.

I growled angrily. Although I never saw much of Michael, he seemed to hold a grudge or something against me. Why? I couldn't understand. I had never done anything to him. Why did I have to feed the two shade haired guy anyway? That wasn't my job. Hell, that was way below my qualifications! I'm a doctor, not a bedside nurse! Michael was purposefully putting me down and the worse part was that I couldn't say no to that redhead jerk.

"Do not give him too much though," Emily informed calmly.

"Who?"

"Kai."

"Why?"

"His body won't be able to handle it, partly because of his state and partly because his body won't be used to it."

Her information confused me and I thoughtfully scratched my head. I then asked what first came to my mind.

"How do you know?"

She blinked and pushed her glasses further up her nose.

"I did and analyse of his blood sample and it showed a sugar level so low that he most likely have not had much to eat for quite a time. Because of that, it's not wise to feed him too much."

I dragged myself up from the chair and gave Emily a small nod. She smiled, weakly but encouraging at me then turned back to her work.

……

I stood there looking at the white door that proudly boasted the number 145 as if mocking me. I frowned at my hesitation and my hands gripped the red food tray tighter. Raising my left hand, I knocked on the blank surface, still not sure if I really should be doing this. When no answer came, I pushed it open anyway.

"Kai?" I called out, peeking into the quiet room.

"Dr. Kon," he mumbled from where he sat with a small nod.

I knew he didn't intend for me to notice, but I could still see his shoulders lowering a bit and face relaxing, pupils going back to normal: the knocking had frightened him.

"Good morning. How do you feel?"

No answer, as expected. Instead, he looked down at the tray I was carrying.

"I have to eat that?"

There wasn't any emotion in his voice, and I wasn't even sure that it really had been a question. Still, I nodded and walked over to him and placed the tray on the bedside table.

His skin had gone from ivory to light crème, meaning he was recovering. His hair was still as messy as ever though, and his right arm trembled despite his great effort to hide it as he reached out to take the cup of water.

"Tell me what you were doing yesterday out in the corridor" I said when he took bite of the sandwich, followed immediately by another. He chuckled dryly.

"Trying to figure out why the hell I was still here."

I felt a ting of guilt run through my heart and looked over at the widow as he took the other sandwich.

"I'm sorry."

He quirked an eyebrow, making me realize that I had spoken that out loud. I hadn't intended to, it just slipped my mouth.

"How come?" he asked, sounding just a little too uninterested to be convincing, and took a sip of the water.

I didn't reply. Just silently cursed my tongue and hoped that he didn't read too much into it. His scarlet eyes were studying me with great interest, judging me, just like everyone else.

Unwillingly, my pupils turned into slits and I growled low, but still, unfortunately, loud enough for him to hear. Actually, he stiffened a little and looked wary enough to run away any moment, his left hand grasping the white cover. I forced myself to calm and sat down at his bed.

He didn't move. However, his body had tensed even more the moment I touched the sheets. He was on high alert and his eyes showed a kind of fire I'd never seen before. I also noticed that he wore a white hospital shirt, a bit red at the end of the sleeves. Then, for the first time, I was the one to seek eye contact.

"I'm sorry I did something against your will," I smiled weakly.

The boy seemed to be a bit hesitant of how to answer that but, to my great surprise, leant forward towards me. He didn't take his eyes from mine and didn't stop until his face was but a few inches from mine.

"Don't bother, I couldn't care less," he hissed.

"Why?" I asked, voice ridiculously weak.

He smirked at me, not intending to answer that though his smirk disappeared when he turned towards the window. With a sigh, the boy closed his eyes.

"Dr. Kon?" he said.

"Yeah?" I replied tiredly, leaning backwards and rubbing my temples.

"I would like to have my ID card back, if you don't mind"

I blinked, a bit surprised that he even noticed it was gone in the first place. He was a quick observer and if he had been able to stagger out of bed just a few hours after a near death experience, he had to have a deadly strong will or-and strength.

Still, I nodded at his request.

"You will. But it's currently in one of my colleague's possession."

"The redhead with blue eyes?"

"Which one did you see?

He could mean either Michael or Tala, both had red hair and blue eyes, although Tala's were of a much brighter and beautiful hue than Michael's.

"The nurse. Dr. Sheldon is far too proud and spoiled to even have touch me to begin with. My guesses he is more of a paperwork doctor."

My mouth fell open. Although he hadn't been there for more than a few hours he already was able to both learn the names of, and analyze, the staff. This guy was scary. Not knowing what to really say, but knowing I looked like a complete idiot at the moment, I spoke.

"Yeah, he is. The nurse's name is Tala Ivanov"

I couldn't believe myself, I had just revealed Tala's first name to a total stranger. That was not only inappropriate but also irrelevant. Hope Tala wouldn't mind.

"And what is yours?"

"Huh?"

"Your name?"

I was silent for a few seconds, not knowing if I should tell him or not. But after a few seconds, I decided that no harm could come from it.

"Raymond Kon"

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-four."

"Blood type?"

"B-positive."

"Married?"

"No."

The question were too personal for my liking but I couldn't stop answering. I didn't know why he was asking me all this; maybe he was genuinely interested, or just plain bored.

"Your name is Kai Hiwatari, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Eighteen?"

"Correct."

"Blood type A?"

"Not married."

"I didn't ask if you were," I retorted, admittedly getting annoyed with his arrogance. I wasn't in the mood for that in any way. Yeah, so I started the stupid 20 Questions-round but I didn't like it when others gave me attitude. Case in point: Michael.

A loud melody coming from my pocket got my attention and I pulled out my black cell-phone.

"Tala?" I asked though I identified the number any way.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed I had Kai's full attention though he quickly looked in another direction when he realized it.

(You're up!)

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?"

(Ray, you should be asleep!)

"The why did you call when you thought I was asleep?" I asked with mocked exasperation.

I picked up the sound of a low chuckle which I was sure Kai hadn't meant for me to hear.

(…Good point. Sorry buddy, I can call back later if this is a bad time.)

"Don't bother. What do you want now?"

It was silent for a moment, and I soon regretted pulling such a harsh tone.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

(No offence taken, but what side of who's bed did you wake up?)

I was about to answer but then blushed rather vibrantly when vivid images flashed in my mind which for some reason included the teen sitting before me. Then again, Tala had his suspicions, no doubt, so maybe he did mean what I thought he meant…sly bastard.

Said crimson eyed boy raised a eyebrow at me and I coughed nervously and with no small amount of embarrassment.

"Tala, what's the problem?" I said, teeth clenched together in a poor attempt to make the blush disappear.

(Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to know if you want to have dinner with us tonight?)

"And this couldn't wait till later because…?"

(Bryan will be at school all day and he will stop at the market this afternoon, and we won't have any contact until evening, so I had to know if we should count you in?)

"Yeah, do that. I'd love to"

(Great, see ya.)

"Bye."

(Yup. Oh, Bryan says hello)

I laughed at the contradicting words in the background as I ended the conversation.

"Got a date?" Kai smirked, eyeing me, the two sandwiches already eaten.

I shook my head and, with all intention to leave, walked away. I stopped at the muffled sound coming from behind. I turned only to see Kai standing on the floor, holding his forehead.

"Kai?" I asked, worried by his action.

"Where's the bathroom?" he hissed and stumbled across the room towards me, holding the metal pole with the IV bag.

I lunged forward and caught him as he was about to fall. Collecting himself, he pushed me off him and with a small growl of dismay made it clear not do something like that again.

"So?" he mumbled, frowning.

"To your left," I replied, pointing at the door a few feet from where he stood.

The teen rolled his eyes, at me or himself I did not know. With small steps he went into the bathroom and I didn't know whether to follow or not, I wasn't sure if he needed help. Still, him falling to his knees before the toilet was a pretty darn good clue and I rushed in, worried at the strange gasps he was making. Practice warned me that there was only one outcome for this…

The moment my hand touched his shoulder, he started to throw up very violently. So badly, in fact, that I couldn't help being taken back. What if we had done something wrong when we treated him, or if he was more injured that we had first thought?

His body jerked harshly but the rush didn't last long and he finally sank further down at the floor, eyes dimmed by the effort. He sighed and said something monotonously. I had no idea what it meant but it sounded somewhat like another language. I sat down on my heals and gave him some paper. First, he just glared at me, but then accepted the paper and muttered a quiet 'thanks'.

When I had, despite his angry gazes, helped him back to the bed and made sure he was going to be okay, I sat down on a chair beside his bed. The teen looked at me puzzled.

"Why are you still here?" he asked annoyed.

"Because I don't know if I should get you help or not," I admitted.

"Not" he mumbled and sank further backwards into the pillows.

"What did you say in there?" I mused, tilting my head slightly.

"That I shouldn't have eaten anything."

Once again, I blinked. Then it hit me. Emily had said that after all, that he most likely wouldn't be able to keep anything. I cursed myself for giving him the food. But then again, even though he had just chucked his breakfast back up, the fact that he had eaten almost all of it meant that he was hungry.

Kai jumped when the door opened. His eyes were wide and his breath quickened again. This behaviour confused me, he was startled by about almost every movement he wasn't prepared for. I turned to the door and smiled at Dr. Judy Tate, who looked a bit confused.

"Kai?" she said, eyes now resting on the teen.

"Mrs. Tate," the spoken boy replied.

My eyes travelled from one to another as the blond woman walked forward, smiling at him, giving me a small nod to confirm my presence. Kai used his hands to push himself further up.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him, but he didn't reply.

The woman turned and looked worriedly at me. In return, I shook my head and sighed. I then stood up from the orange chair.

"I'll leave you two alone."

"Actually, I'm only going to give him antibiotics, so you don't have to, Dr. Kon," she murmured, mind somewhere else, filling the syringe with the transparent liquid.

I nodded slightly and sat back down. Kai watched us with uncertain eyes. He didn't seem that comfortable with the situation. At the sight of the syringe he frowned almost unnoticeable and his eyes flickered.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Surprised, he glared at me and I immediately regretted even asking him. Whatever was upsetting him, the chances that he would tell me were equal to zero. Proving my assumption, he shook his head and locked his eyes on the needle, a wary expression playing over his face.

"Can't I get that in pills or something?" he grumbled. It almost sounded like a whine.

Judy shook her head.

"I'm afraid this will do the job much faster Kai…Mr. Hiwatari."

He sighed with fatigue, but bared his upper arm, pulling up the white sleeve. I looked at his bandaged wrists, no blood had leaked through. When she stuck the metal through his pale skin, he closed his eyes and did his best to control the tiny shivers travelling through his body.

Pulling the intruding metal out, Judy gave me a significant gaze to which I nodded. She walked to the door and opening it, she turned to the teen.

"Mind if I tell him?" she asked.

Kai shook his head, releasing another sigh.

"Whatever."

When she had left, I turned to him. He looked tired and I decided to leave him alone.

"Can I ask you something?" I said to him, to which he rose his head.

"What?"

"How do you two know each other?"

"She's the mother of a friend of mine."

"A friend?"

He nodded and closed his eyes, slowly starting to relax. I turned my eyes to the door and stood up to leave. Before stepping out, I threw him a last look before disappearing outside. I quietly closed the door behind me and stared at the opposite wall, taking a deep breath and exhaling loudly.

Then I remembered; I had forgotten to eat…again.

Tbc……


	3. Chapter 3

Warnings: Contains yaoi, rape and abuse. Yaoi means that two guys are in love. If this offends you in any way, don't continue to read this story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade in any way or form. All the characters are borrowed from the anime, and those who isn't, I do own. This story may not be copied or published in some other way without my permission. I do not make any money from writing this and my interest is to entertain only.

Further: Once again, thank you Ladya-sama :) you're the best!

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Chapter 3

"Come on, move your legs!"

"What do you think I'm doing!"

"Well, move them quicker! I really thought you were faster than this!"

I sighed with no small amount of exasperation at Tala's arrogant words. I was moving as fast as I could. Just because he's faster than me does not mean I'm slow. And besides, we would not be in such hurry if he hadn't –accidentally- pushed the 'stop' button in the elevator, making us stay stuck between the third and fourth floor for half an hour.

"You do know that Sheldon is going to kill us, don't you?" I murmured to him as we rounded a corner, successfully avoiding running a group of nurses down.

"Don't be so dramatic…"

"Okay, so maybe not, but--"

"He's going to kill **you**."

"…Thanks a bunch."

I had been summoned to a meeting to which I, obviously, was very late. Tala was on his way to a surgery, which, by the way, had started five minutes ago, so yeah, it was going to be a single homicide. Lucky me.

Unenthusiastically coming to a halt before the white door that had been my destination, I took a deep breath.

"Look at it this way: it's a good thing you work in a hospital."

And with that, my temporary-not-best-friend grinned and walked on, leaving me to glare at him as much as I could without giving myself a migraine.

Untidy bangs fell before my face as I tried to even out my breathing. It wasn't the best option ever, but I had no choice but to enter in the exhausted shape I was in. Enjoying the essence of silence, of which I knew I wasn't going to be hearing for the next few minutes, I turned the handle.

"You're late!"

The angered accusation hit me the moment I stuck my head in to the room and I had to control myself not to roll my eyes. Sheldon was positively fuming as he sat back in his large leather chair, arms crossed and mouth scowling in a very unappealing way.

The office was bigger than mine, with a huge wooden desk, a sofa group, a bookshelf filled with medical diplomas and trophies, though some of them looked more like baseball trophies, and too many books to be counted.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Sheldon. I was stuck in the e--"

"I don't want to hear your lame excuses, Dr. Kon. You're late, period!"

"I'm sorry, sir," I summed up.

I sat down at the empty chair in front of his desk, and I suddenly realized one major detail; I was the only one there.

"Excuse me, sir, but where are all the others?"

"What others?"

"I thought this was a meeting"

"It is, between you and me"

I blinked, not really understanding. That was the first time ever that Michael had wanted to speak to me in private. Crap, was he really planning on killing me?

"Okay," I said, dumbfounded.

He turned to the huge window and spoke coldly.

"In a nutshell, I command you to stop taking Valium pills."

"What?" I asked, trying to sound unknowing about it.

He turned from the window and stared venomously at me, causing me to look down at the carpet. How could he keep that up for so long? He must have been tripped out on aspirins.

"Don't play dumb with me. I know you take them. It's plainly obvious. Did you really think you could keep it a secret?"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Sheldon," I answered, purposefully not acknowledging his inquiry, "but I cannot obey that order."

"You are below me stature, meaning that you must do what I tell you. Without question."

"Maybe so, but you can't tell me what to do during my free time."

His fist slammed down on his desk.

"No, but I can tell you what to do during work, and I now tell you, if you ever take something like that here, or are affected by them in any way, I'll throw you out of here quicker than your heart is currently beating."

I swallowed and looked away. Despite how much I hated to admit it, I knew he was right. Taking the amount of Valium I did from time to time could put the patients lives in danger, although I tried not to get too complicated assignments during those periods.

"Am I clear, Kon?"

I nodded.

"Yes, Dr. Sheldon"

"Good. You are dismissed."

I stood up and walked with him to the office door. Opening the door, he stepped aside for me to pass though he grabbed me by an upper arm as I exited and issued his closing statement/threat.

"If you ever keep me waiting again I will personally ensure that you'll be mopping the floors for the rest of your career in this hospital, Kon."

With that, he slammed shut the door behind me.

I clenched my fists to the point my knuckles turned white. It wasn't just because of Michael. Well, maybe it was, but I was also angry because of the painful truth he had pointed out. It's bad enough that that jerk had seen right through me but I was indeed addicted to Valium. I had been that for a few years. Initially, the calming antidepressant pills were my last resort. Sadly, due to my lifestyle, they've become my only resort.

I sighed and rubbed my temples as I closed my eyes. This was really **not** my lucky day.

"Oh, dude, that didn't sound too good."

I opened my eyes when my thoughts were interrupted. I repeat: This was really **not **my lucky day.

"Good morning Tyson"

"In my case yes, it's a good morning. But serious shit, dude, what did you do to piss him off that much?"

May I present Tyson Granger, nineteen years of age and currently in practice to become a doctor. Oh yeah; and a real pain in the ass. He was even worse than Tala. I have never understood how he got accepted in the first place. I smiled and patted his head.

"Don't worry your little head, I was just a bit late, that's all."

"Late? Oh, man that sucks! What was it? Some jackass kept you at one spot for too long?"

He took the words right out of my mouth.

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Too bad. But hey, it's alright now, right? Have you had lunch yet?"

I blinked at the rapid words.

"No I have not."

"Great, then I can have some company! I'm starving!"

Actually, I hadn't eaten at all yet. After leaving Kai earlier this morning, I was supposed to go and eat, but as always, something got in the way. Namely a jackass who got us trapped on an elevator and an even bigger jackass who only contributed to my already wonderful day. Note sarcasm.

I followed the midnight-haired teen down the corridor, but as we got to the elevator, I persuaded him to taking the stairs. I'm not dumb enough to be doing the same mistake twice. Besides, Tala was smart, despite is immaturity, but I didn't trust my luck enough to get into something with Tyson, who almost killed a little old lady a few weeks back when he tripped over and pulled out her breathing tube.

"Oh, crappy crap, this sucks--"

Crappy crap?

"--Had I know you would have been in such sadistic state of mind, I would had run for my life!"

"Quit whining. A little exercise never killed anyone." I rolled my eyes.

"Duh! It's six pairs of stairs, and I haven't eaten since breakfast!"

"Tyson, you eat five breakfast's a day."

No answer. It had just been a guess but it looked like I was right. Wow, where did he put all that food? Tyson wasn't at all overweight, though not as slender as Tala or myself (This is not vanity speaking, people). Still, his long term commitment to food and disdain for exercise was telling on him, especially his face, which was round around the cheeks, giving him a younger appearance than his 19 years of age.

We reached the top of the stairs and went on to the cafeteria, where we were allowed to have lunch. I hadn't planned to eat at first but I changed my mind and walked over to see what the specials were. Turns out nothing of my interest so I decided to just have a cup of coffee and a sandwich. Tyson, however, loaded his tray with several dishes before asking if I could carry some on my rather empty one.

Once seated, I quickly handed him back his food, the sight of so much making me a bit disgusted. I took a sip of my coffee.

"So, Ray, what have you been doing?"

It didn't really bother me that he called me by my first name…okay, so it did, but being the clueless idiot he was, he was easily forgiven.

"Not much. Saving a couple of lives and so on."

He burst out laughing at the information, but soon settled. Still grinning widely, he decided to tell me about his day so far, though I hadn't asked him. Again, he really was a nice guy and unless I wanted to feel like the biggest jerk in the world (excluding Michael and Tala, on his irritating days) I had no choice but to listen.

"We had to watch when they operated this girl who had punctured a lung. Man, it was gross! There was blood splattered everywhere and you could see the flesh and organs and shit. And then they had to remove a bullet from a guy's chest so they cut him open and we watched it all on the monitors. Yuck is all I have to say! All the blood and the smocking sound when an air bubble was released, dude! How can you put up with that everyday?"

I pulled a face and pushed the sandwich away. That was that. The little I had that could been taken as appetite was gone. I didn't mind it when I actually were sewing someone's inner organs back together, but having someone talking about it could only be described in one way– eeww!

"Hey?"

I flinched at Tyson's voice. It held a more serious tone than earlier and I didn't like it. When people changed attitude towards me, they always wanted to ask me how I was, something I did not appreciate.

"Yeah?" I replied him.

"Don't you want your sandwich?"

I raised an eyebrow, then started giggling. It sure was Tyson after all.

I stood up and passed him the sandwich.

"Be my guest, Ty. And do your best today, okay?"

"Got it!"

With that, I left him behind and went to see if they needed me anywhere.

The hospital I was working in wasn't that big, but necessary for the environment. At the top of the team I belonged to was, unfortunately, Michael, and Judy. She always helped anyone who needed it and never saw a job as insignificant. Robert and Eddy were my seniors and really good at what they were doing, although Robert was as rigid as Michael. Then there was me, youngest and less experienced of them all. Pitiful, huh?

As the one lowest in rank, I was often assigned things the others didn't want to do. Michael bossed me around as much as he could and Robert wasn't any better. The jerk –Sheldon- held me in depth for saving my life a few years ago. Bet he regretted doing that now. Eddy tried his best to not treat me any different, but often, he just failed to pay me any attention.

There were always more doctors around but the five of us had been put together in a team so that there would never be any confusions about who was working when and where one would complain and report what had been done.

Judy was the only one trying to understand me and because she held as high grade as Michael, I was never forgotten. She was nice and understanding, and one of the very few people I trusted. While I was recovering years ago she would often take the time to come by to visit me, but it was Tala that made me want to become a doctor. Weird story, I know. I'll tell you about it some other time.

"Excuse me, doctor?"

I turned at the request, realizing I was on the first floor. I did not know how I got there, although it didn't really matter.

"Yes?"

I was looking at a boy, in his later teens I had to assume, around two inches shorter than myself, with pineapple-blond hair and warm blue eyes. He was breathing heavily, seemingly exhausted.

"Could you help me with something?"

"I'll try," I informed him.

"I'm looking for a person. A patient," he panted.

"Yeah? What's the name you're searching for? I can check the papers" I walked over to the reception.

"Hiwatari, Kai"

It took me all my feline grace and poise not to trip over my own two feet or drop the map I held.

"What's the matter? He's not here? Did he already leave!"

I shook my head, composing myself admirably.

"It's not that. I know where he is."

"You do? Can I see him, because I really want to!"

"Sure you can. What's your name, kid?"

"Max Tate."

I eyed him more closely. The resemblance to a certain blond doctor was indeed very similar. That meant that he was Judy's son, and as far as I knew, Kai's friend.

Without any further discussion, I took him to the room. By now I had memorized Kai's room number (and don't read anything into that). I knocked on the door to see if I could get him to respond. Of course he didn't. Slowly, I opened it.

"Now what?" an aggravated voice demanded from within the room.

Kai's accusing words always made me annoyed yet amused. He was so stubborn it was funny.

"KAI!" Max suddenly shouted and ran past me towards the crimson-eyed teen. He jumped and landed on him, leaving me to stand there with a very surprised expression and ringing ears.

Kai wasn't prepared at all and coughed at the impact. For a mere second, he had failed to hide his surprise, then rolled his eyes when the blonde hugged him closer.

"Alright, let go already" he murmured half-heartedly.

"Nu-huh! Not a chance in hell, Kai! What the hell were you thinking! Or not thinking you piece of shit!"

With that, he slapped the slate-marine haired teen, tears clearly visible in his eyes. Kai blinked at the treatment, then slowly rose his hand and touched his own cheek, sighing.

As for me, I just stood there stunned. So yeah.

"Calm down, moron. dammit, I'm still here," Kai grumbled and looked out through the window.

"You could have died! Don't you understand it? You could have died, jerk!" the blonde growled, choking on a sob.

"That was the whole point, brainiac. It has nothing to do with you, so you can stop lecturing me!" Kai was getting harsher in tone, causing Max's eyes to dim.

"You ass! It's got everything to do with me! Does being best friends mean zero to you?"

To this, he did not reply.

They stared at each other for several seconds, before the movement I made when I shifted position caught Kai's attention.

"If you don't mind Dr. Kon…" His eyes glowed with anger, and he had his teeth clenched together. Unwillingly, I felt the familiar shiver down my spine.

"Uh…I'll come back later to check on you. But before I go," I walked over to where Max was sitting on the taller boy and held out the card.

"What's that?" Max murmured, wiping a tear away with the back of his hand.

"My ID card," Kai sighed and took it. "Thanks"

"No problem. Sorry for taking it."

I walked outside fully aware of the gazes on my back. I was a bit disappointed. After all, I was curious by nature, and I wanted to hear the conversation.

Somehow, seeing the blonde being so close to the teen had lighten a strange feeling in me, and I really wanted to stay with them. Then, I had one of my oh-so-bright ideas that was bound to get me into trouble. Oh well, one only lived once.

I didn't really close the door behind me, just enough so it looked closed. That way, I could listen to them, without they knowing. Yes, I was going to eavesdrop on them. I knew it was wrong, but giving the day I was having I really wasn't in the mood to play the Good Samaritan. Besides, I was curious, and I'm part feline. Do the math.

I leaned against the outer doorframe, holding my ear close to the gap, praying no one would see me standing there. Considering that I was in bright lit hall, in plain view, it was no small amount of wishful thinking.

'Here goes nothing,' I thought as I sharpened my hearing.

"…phoned me one hour ago, telling me you were here."

"So you decided to come and visit"

"Of course! Why Kai? Why did you do it?"

"It's really none of your business what I do or not."

"I CARE ABOUT YOU, HIWATARI!"

Dammit! That kid was going to deaf me! Now my ears were ringing even worse, leaving me to wonder if this was all really worth my precious hearing and wondering once again why I was doing this.

"Don't yell at me, Max. I have not slept for five days."

It was silent for a moment before a sigh could be heard.

"I'm sorry. It's just…I was so scared…so scared. Kai, please, try to understand how I feel"

It was silent again, and I wondered what they were doing. But I couldn't bring myself to find that out. Why hadn't he slept for five days? That was abnormal, and he certainly needed his sleep if he was to recover. Maybe I should give him some sleeping pills before I left that afternoon.

I looked down at my watch, 1.30 am. Time really did pass by quickly. I only had to work for another three and a half hour, and because it was Friday, I had the next day off. I had worked so much overtime I could take a day off, and that was something I really needed. It was most welcome…until now that was. If I wasn't on duty, I would not be able to see to Kai.

"I'm sorry, but I won't apologize for this."

I immediately turned my attention back to the conversation at Kai's voice.

"You will never stop being so icy towards me, will you?" Max voice was bitter and tired, like it was a really sincerely asked question.

"Stop acting so damn caring!"

"I'm not acting! You stubborn asshole, don't you think about anyone but yourself!"

"Max, now I'm serious! Just zip it and get the hell out of here!"

I pulled back a bit, startled by the anger the words held.

"You're the one acting! I know you well enough to know that you're keeping something from me!"

"Just get out!"

"I never thought you would be so damn stupid to do this again! Don't you care how much people in your surrounding suffer? I'm scared to death every time you get home after school, and I think your dad is too!"

"He's not my dad!"

"Whatever! I don't know what's wrong with you! Why are you constantly hurting yourself? This is the sixth time you end up at a hospital. The SIXTH and God only knows how many scars you have! What the heck are you trying to do? Get someone's attention or something?"

"Get out!"

"You're not even listening, why…"

"I SAID GET THE HELL OUT!"

"But…"

"NOW!"

The door was slammed open, not giving me time to pull back. With a hard impact at my chin, I fell backwards down at the floor. The blonde didn't pay me any attention, just ran past me, water flowing freely from his ocean eyes.

I stared at him as he ran away, wondering if it was true that they were just friends. He seemed so upset. I made a mental note of keeping my ears and eyes open.

I got to my feet and walked inside. Kai was sitting on the edge of the bed, face buried in his hands. At the sound of my footsteps, he looked up.

"Hi," I smiled weakly and he glared at me with hatred, especially when he saw me rubbing my still hurting chin and guilty expression.

"You eavesdropped."

I nodded at the conclusion and sat down at the chair. He chuckled dryly.

"So?"

"So what?"

"Aren't you going to try to talk to me? Ask me what is wrong, how I feel, why I tried to take my life and so on?"

He sounded so tired. His outburst must have taken what little energy he had managed to gain during his stay here.

"No" I shook my head. "That's none of my business. If you want to tell me, you can do that yourself, without me trying to drag it out of you. I only have to do that when inhumane treatment has been revealed."

"…Inhumane treatment?"

"Abuse" I explained simply, to which he nodded.

"What would happen?"

"We would send the police to investigate the case, then, if it was proven correct, the person would be sent to another family if he was underage."

He nodded again and locked his eyes with mine.

"I see," he lay back down and pulled the cover over himself.

"I heard you've had some trouble sleeping"

"So? What's it to you?"

"You have to rest, it's important for your recovery"

"I am resting" he mumbled, clearly annoyed.

"Anyhow, I will give you something for that"

"Don't you dare using morphine or something like that!"

His eyes were apprehensive yet determined and I couldn't help smiling at the overall appearance.

"Don't worry, I wont," I assured.

"Dr. Kon?"

"Yeah?"

"Why couldn't you just let me die?"

I was taken aback by the question. To that, I had no answer. I could just say it was my job, but that was not the case. Scratching my head I sat back down.

"I don't know."

"You mean to tell me I'm alive because of an 'I don't know'?" This time, he sounded almost amused.

"I can't say more than I'm sorry."

Now, he sat up and looked at me curiously. He eyed me from head to toe, and then locked his blood colored eyes with my amber ones. They seemed to pierce through my very soul, reading my thoughts like an open book, and I felt extremely uncomfortable.

"Why? That's the second time you indicate that. Why are you sorry?"

I inhaled to calm myself. The proximity of the teen was making me quiver, and the sweat traveled down my back. I took a deep breath and spoke words without really thinking.

"Because if that really was your one true wish, I was the one smashing it to pieces. Then, I'm sorry that you seem to be in so much physical pain that you can not see a way out of it."

He raised his eyebrows, gazing at me in disbelief. However, the anger had disappeared from the crimson depth, and been replaced by something else. Was it…interest?

"Why are you sad?"

His question surprised me a lot. I wasn't sad…not at the moment anyway. I tilted my head to the side and looked at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Your eyes glow with sadness only one deeply wounded could show!"

"Should I take that as a compliment?" I snorted and pushed the chair away, standing up.

"Your call. But tell me, why did you want me to live when you yourself do not?"

"Don't claim things you don't know anything about, Mr. Hiwatari," I growled, pupils slitting.

"Am I wrong then?" he asked, body tensing at my action.

I did not reply him. Instead, I turned to leave the room. At the door, I looked back at him. He was still underneath the covers, hands on top of it. His slate silvery bangs fell in front of his deep bourbon eyes. I smiled slightly.

"I was lucky enough to be stopped."

His eyes dimmed and he frowned, looking away. At that very moment, he looked so young. So very young, yet so very grown.

"…I don't understand you. How can you say that knowing you might never be happy?" he murmured with a thing of sarcasm but also with such calm, I didn't know what he really meant.

I sighed and looked at his form on the bed. I wanted to help him, but as it was, I couldn't even fully take care of myself. I searched my mind for a suitable answer when I suddenly remembered something. Something Bryan had told me an evening three years ago.

"Never being happy is not the same as being unhappy," I said sadly, causing him to look back at me with questioning eyes.

I had been extremely down at the time Bryan stated that. And the words I used had not been that much different from those of Kai –'I don't understand it. Why should I bother to live knowing I might never be happy?'

I smiled at him.

"I'll send someone with those sleeping pills."

Without receiving a reply, I closed the door behind me, walking away well aware of the fact that that had been too close to tearing my scars open once again. Far too close. Thoughts somewhere else, I picked a small white can from my pocket, taking two pills in my palm. Without waiting for an opportunity to use water, I swallowed them.

'Three hours to go. Just pull yourself together for three more hours' I commanded myself, pushing every personal feeling away, intending to keep my mind focused at my job…as a doctor.

Tbc


End file.
